


Mad Dog-chan and His Two Chibi Crows

by RedKingKelly



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: (once they got over his scary face), Established Side KenHina, Established Side KuroKen, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Rare Pairings, bc this fandom, chat fic, current seijoh enlists graduated seijoh to help matchmake, hinayachi interacting w seijoh via group chat, kyoutani's gonna die they're both so fucking cute, not cheating or unrequited, rare pair hell, seijoh just wants their mad dog to be happy, they think he's cute too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-02-26 08:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21966259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedKingKelly/pseuds/RedKingKelly
Summary: yahabitchplease:rightKY0UTANI:NOyahabitchplease:here’s the dealKY0UTANI:FUCK YOUyahabitchplease:our dear mad dog, the one and only kyoutani kentarou, has a crushKY0UTANI:ROT IN HELL YAHABAyahabitchplease:on not one but two peopleKY0UTANI:IM QUITTINGyahabitchplease:and he would like advice on how to deal with it. please.KY0UTANI:NO I FUCKING DO NOTKY0UTANI:AND ESPECIALLY NOT FROM THEMKyoutani has a crush. His teammates wish he would do something about it, because his mooning is equally adorable and annoying, but he's determined to wait these feelings out. It's just too bad that nobody else is counting that as an option.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kyoutani Kentarou/Hinata Shouyou, Kyoutani Kentarou/Hinata Shouyou/Yachi Hitoka, Kyoutani Kentarou/Yachi Hitoka
Comments: 13
Kudos: 229
Collections: Haikyuu!!, Haikyuu!! Polyamory Fics





	1. Chapter 1

** -seijoh 5eva- **

_08/05/19  
17:15_

**yahabitchplease** : senpai  
**yahabitchplease** : we have a situation  
**yahabitchplease** : and we need your help  
**icanbeyourhiro** : ooh? how intriguing  
**icanbeyourhiro** : such a tease yahaba  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Yahaba? Is everything okay?  
**yahabitchplease** : we need everyone to be present  
**yahabitchplease** : this is a True Emergency  
**icanbeyourhiro** : present!  
**matsukatsudon** : present  
**SleepyBoi** : Present  
**KY0UTANI** : FUCK OFF YAHABA  
**KY0UTANI** : WHYRE YOU GETTING THEM INVOLVED  
**yahabitchplease** : this isn’t something we can handle on our own, kyoutani   
**yahabitchplease** : we need their expertise  
**KY0UTANI** : NO WE FUCKING DONT  
**KY0UTANI** : WHAT EXPERTISE  
**KY0UTANI** : WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THEY KNOW JACK SHIT ABOUT ANYTHING  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Excuse me  
**KY0UTANI** : EXCEPT IWAIZUMI-SAN  
**thebettersetter** : present~   
**thebettersetter** : and offended, kyouken-chan!! (>ω<)  
**commonsense** : also present  
**commonsense** : also slightly offended   
**KY0UTANI** : why the fuck are you offended Watari  
**commonsense** : bc i just know you were thinking that about the rest of us too  
**commonsense** : i can see the regret in your eyes  
**thebettersetter** : im somehow getting the feeling that this has something to do with kyouken-chan (^_-)v  
**icanbeyourhiro** : my puppy senses are tingling  
**matsukatsudon** : i think that might be his rage aura makki   
**icanbeyourhiro** : lol tru  
**notafuckingturnip** : present! lets do this yahaba  
**yahabitchplease** : right  
**KY0UTANI** : NO  
**yahabitchplease** : here’s the deal  
**KY0UTANI** : FUCK YOU  
**yahabitchplease** : our dear mad dog, the one and only kyoutani kentarou, has a crush  
**KY0UTANI** : ROT IN HELL YAHABA  
**yahabitchplease** : on not one but two people  
**KY0UTANI** : IM QUITTING  
**yahabitchplease** : and he would like advice on how to deal with it. please.  
**KY0UTANI** : NO I FUCKING DO NOT  
**KY0UTANI** : AND ESPECIALLY NOT FROM THEM  
**commonsense** : he’s typing so furiously, it’s adorable  
**thebettersetter** : omg  
**thebettersetter** : omfg????  
**thebettersetter** : on WHO  
**icanbeyourhiro** : WHOMST  
**icanbeyourhiro** : THE FUCKETH  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Two people? And neither of them is Yahaba?  
**matsukatsudon** : lmao nice kill  
**yahabitchplease** : NO  
**KY0UTANI** : NO  
**thebettersetter** : ooohh i love it when iwa-chan roasts people that arent me  
**thebettersetter** : do it again iwa-chan  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Shut up Shittykawa  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Kyoutani, you might as well tell us at this point  
**KY0UTANI** : .....  
**KY0UTANI** : yahaba you do it you fucking asshole  
**yahabitchplease** : thats no way to ask for help kyoutani-kun   
**yahabitchplease** : but since i’m a good person  
**yahabitchplease** : its karasuno’s chibi-chan and their cute little manager  
**thebettersetter** : oh???  
**thebettersetter** : my????  
**thebettersetter** : god???????  
**icanbeyourhiro** : that might be the most adorable thing ive ever heard  
**icanbeyourhiro** : i ship it  
**thebettersetter** : KYOUKENCHANWHAT  
**matsukatsudon** : the cutest  
**matsukatsudon** : 10/10 will get the three of you together if it kills you, kyoutani  
**thebettersetter** : ahdjdkdhdgk AM I THE ONLY ONE FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS  
**commonsense** : no, kyoutani’s having a meltdown here too  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Shut the fuck up Shittykawa why are you being so dramatic  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Anyway Yahaba, what exactly do you want from us?   
**GodzillasHumansona** : None of us have any experience with polyamory   
**SleepyBoi** : But you are in relationships  
**SleepyBoi** : Which is better than Kyoutani  
**icanbeyourhiro** : this is true  
**matsukatsudon** : we are the epitome of relationship goals  
**icanbeyourhiro** : <3<3<3<3<3 (proof)  
**matsukatsudon** : ﾟ+★☆(*≧з)(ε≦*)☆★+ﾟ(literally us)  
**commonsense** : kyoutani wants to know who the hell said anything about polyamory   
**icanbeyourhiro** : what, he wants to pick one??  
**commonsense** : he doesn’t want to do anything smh  
**commonsense** : he wants to ignore it and pretend like he doesn’t feel anything  
**yahabitchplease** : obviously that’s not happening  
**SleepyBoi** : The important thing is that Kyoutani actually has a chance senpai otherwise this intervention wouldnt be happening  
**KY0UTANI** : SHUT UP KUNIMI  
**icanbeyourhiro** : hes back!   
**thebettersetter** : wAIT WAITWAAAAAIIIIIIIITTTTTT KUNIMICHAN WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS A CHANCE  
**notafuckingturnip** : they were sickening over camp oikawa-san  
**notafuckingturnip** : kyoutani definitely has a shot with both of them  
**SleepyBoi** : _spidermonkeyhinata_. _jpg  
_**SleepyBoi** : _iskyoutanifunny_. _jpg  
_**SleepyBoi** : _becauseyachiislaughing_. _jpg  
_**SleepyBoi** : _seriouslyhehasachance_. _jpg  
_**KY0UTANI** : WHY DO YOU HAVE THOSE YOU BASTARD  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Wow, Kyoutani, you three are pretty cute  
**thebettersetter** : OHMYFUCKINGGPD ITS REAL  
**icanbeyourhiro** : awwww kyoutani you big softie  
**commonsense** : he really is i wish you guys could have seen him   
**commonsense** : those two only had to smile at him once and he’s been putty ever since  
**matsukatsudon** : i feel so deprived   
**matsukatsudon** : why did softani never make an appearance when we were at seijoh  
**KY0UTANI** : what the fuck  
**icanbeyourhiro** : lmaooooo good one mattsun  
**yahabitchplease** : N E WAY  
**yahabitchplease** : how are we going to do this senpai  
**thebettersetter** : mou, i don’t want to shi-chan!!  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Get over it, Oikawa  
**icanbeyourhiro** : oikawa? passing up an opportunity to interfere??  
**icanbeyourhiro** : le gasp   
**thebettersetter** : hes consorting with the enemy!!!!!!!!!   
**commonsense** : he’s not actually done anything yet  
**commonsense** : that’s why we need help, senpai  
**thebettersetter** : i cant believe youre all going along with this!   
**thebettersetter** : chibi-chan of all people!!   
**thebettersetter** : (≧mm≦) (≧mm≦) (≧mm≦)  
**KY0UTANI** : fuckin tell me about it  
**matsukatsudon** : come on pettykawa theyd make such a cute little throuple  
**SleepyBoi** : Don’t you want to see blushing Kyoutani for yourself, Oikawa-senpai?  
**thebettersetter** : ..........  
**SleepyBoi** : I have more pictures  
**notafuckingturnip** : so do i   
**thebettersetter** : you make a compelling argument kunimi-chan   
**notafuckingturnip** : _kyouhinayachi_. _jpg  
_**notafuckingturnip** : _sittinginatree_. _jpg  
_**notafuckingturnip** : _exceptkyoutaniisthetree_. _jpg  
_**notafuckingturnip** : _andthechibisarealloverhim_. _jpg  
_**KY0UTANI:** YOURE DEAD KINDAICHI  
**matsukatsudon** : ultimate ot3 confirmed  
**SleepyBoi** : Kindaichi... I’m so proud  
**icanbeyourhiro** : the last one is my new lockscreen  
**icanbeyourhiro** : _proof_. _jpg  
_**thebettersetter** : kin~dai~chi~  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Here we go  
**thebettersetter** : youve convinced me!!   
**yahabitchplease** : youre a lifesaver oikawa-san  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Don’t tell him that, Yahaba, his head’s already too fat for his body  
**thebettersetter** : mean iwa-chan!  
**thebettersetter:** you love my head and my body ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡  
**GodzillasHumansona:** Gross and untrue  
**thebettersetter** : also too late!   
**thebettersetter** : im on the case   
**thebettersetter** : kyouken-chan will have a bf and a gf in less than a month (^_−)☆  
**KY0UTANI** : i never fucking asked for this

* * *

** -seijoh 5eva- **

_09/05/19  
10:17_

**thebettersetter** : so   
**thebettersetter** : about yesterdays discussion  
**KY0UTANI** : im going to kill all of you  
**GodzillasHumansona** : We’re just trying to help, Kyoutani  
**GodzillasHumansona** : If Watari’s going along with this then I’m assuming it’s actually a good idea and not going to turn into a disaster  
**commonsense** : why thank you iwaizumi-senpai  
**KY0UTANI** : wataris fine  
**KY0UTANI** : whyd you have to get fucking oikawa involved  
**thebettersetter** : 1) so rude, kyouken-chan! (*｀ε´*)  
**thebettersetter** : 2) bc i am your best chance at landing both chibi-chan and manager-chan  
**thebettersetter** : obviously  
**KY0UTANI** : WHO THE FUCK SAID I WANTED TO LAND EITHER OF THEM  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Yahaba, Watari, Kunimi, and Kindaichi  
**commonsense** : we also said that they want him back  
**commonsense** : it boggles my mind that we even need outside assistance  
**KY0UTANI** : it boggles my mind that you think i want your help watari  
**icanbeyourhiro** : oohh spicy puppy is spicyyyyyy

 **KY0UTANI _’_** _s name has been changed to_ **spicy puppy**

 **spicy** **puppy** : WHO DID THAT  
**matsukatsudon** : its so fucking cute well done makki  
**icanbeyourhiro** : youre so fucking cute mattsun  
**icanbeyourhiro** : good timing babe  
**matsukatsudon** : must be our psychic link  
**matsukatsudon** : kyoutani would know about it if he had a boyf or girlf  
**spicy** **puppy** : SHUT THE FUCK UP AND CHANGE IT BACK  
**GodzillasHumansona** : I like it  
**GodzillasHumansona** : It’s cute  
**commonsense** : aww iwaizumi-senpai look what youve done  
**commonsense** : _conflictedkyoutani.jpg  
_**notafuckingturnip** : thats kinda cute im sending it to hinata  
**spicy** **puppy** : DONT YOU FUCKING DARE  
**thebettersetter** : kindaichi!! (★^O^★)  
**thebettersetter** : youre really starting to prove yourself worthy of being my assistant on this case!!  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Don’t say that like it’s a compliment, Shittykawa  
**notafuckingturnip** : thanks iwaizumi-san  
**spicy** **puppy** : ITS NOT A FUCKING CASE I DONT NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP  
**spicy** **puppy** : DONT YOU PEOPLE HAVE CLASSES TO PAY ATTENTION TO  
**icanbeyourhiro** : dont you?  
**matsukatsudon** : yeah, all you little high schoolers are definitely in class right now  
**icanbeyourhiro** : rebels  
**GodzillasHumansona** : I know for a fact that the two of you are also in class  
**thebettersetter** : um hello pls stop derailing this conversation  
**thebettersetter** : im trying to talk about my ~plan~  
**spicy** **puppy** : oh look senseis talking about important shit gotta go  
**thebettersetter** : your participation isnt rly necessary kyouken-chan  
**thebettersetter** : just concentrate on your studies and let oikawa-sama handle this (^_-)v

* * *

**-Kindaichi Yuutarou-**

_09/05/19  
13:14_

**thebettersetter:** kindaichi-kun are you free?

_13:18_

**notafuckingturnip:** oikawa-san are you seriously making me your assistant   
**thebettersetter:** such sharp instincts my young kouhai  
**thebettersetter:** they will serve you well in our mission  
**notafuckingturnip:** oh god you are  
**thebettersetter:** nooooo no no no it’ll be easy, i promise（＾人＾）  
**thebettersetter:** i just need to know exactly how dense chibi-chan is  
**notafuckingturnip:** very  
**notafuckingturnip:** the ultimate dumbass  
**notafuckingturnip:** but also not really, hes pretty smart about people i guess  
**thebettersetter:** kindaichi-kuuuuuun (-.-;)y-~~~  
**notafuckingturnip:** okay okay just tell me the plan and ill tell you if i think itll work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what app are they using, who knows, not me ¯\\(ツ)/¯


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I actually meant to update this fic awhile ago, but, y'know, life and shit. I've been super busy at work, and too tired to put any effort into anything when I get home, so my writing slowed down a lot. Still, hopefully y'all enjoy the chapter<3

** -the TRUTH- **

_11/05/19  
14:23_

**_Kindaichi Yuutarou_ ** _has added **Hinata Shouyou** to the conversation_

**_Kindaichi Yuutarou_ ** _has added **Yachi Hitoka** to the conversation_

**Hinata Shouyou:** UWAAHHHH HI KINDAICHI  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** WHAT IS THIS  
 **Kindaichi Yuutarou:** not my idea  
 **Oikawa Tooru:** well well well  
 **Oikawa Tooru:** the one and only chibi-chan  
 **Oikawa Tooru:** fancy seeing you here  
 **Kindaichi Yuutarou:** it was his  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** !!!  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** THE GRAND KING  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** HI!!!!  
 **Iwaizumi Hajime:** What.   
**Iwaizumi Hajime:** Did you just call him?  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** HI SEIJOHS ACE   
**Iwaizumi Hajime:** I don’t play for Seijoh anymore, Hinata  
 **Hanamaki Takahiro:** yeah thats kyoutanis title now little chibi   
**Iwaizumi Hajime:** More importantly - what did you just call Oikawa?  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** the grand king?  
 **Kunimi Akira:** Have you guys never heard him say that?  
 **Kindaichi Yuutarou:** hes been saying it since like our first practice match  
 **Oikawa Tooru:** i knew there was a reason i always liked you chibi-chan (ｏ'ｖ｀ｂ)ｂ  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** that sounds like a lie oikawa-san  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** BUT ILL STILL TAKE IT  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** also HIIIIII KUNIMI  
 **Matsukawa Issei:** hes so cute and nice  
 **Matsukawa Issei:** why  
 **Kunimi Akira:** Hi Hinata  
 **Hanamaki Takahiro:** excuse me why didnt i get a personal greeting  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** jdkldjdh HELLO HANAMAKI-SAN  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** AND MATSUKAWA-SAN  
 **Kindaichi Yuutarou:** good save  
 **Iwaizumi Hajime:** I’m sorry, I’m still stuck on that nickname  
 **Iwaizumi Hajime:** Why the fuck-  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** because hes kageyamas setter senpai right  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** and kageyamas the king of the court  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** so that makes oikawa-san the grand king!!  
 **Kunimi Akira:** Flawless logic

**_Oikawa Tooru_ ** _’s name has been changed to **kingkawa**_

**kingkawa:** ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ  
 **kingkawa:** i see no problem with this  
 **Iwaizumi Hajime:** You wouldn’t, Shittykawa  
 **kingkawa:** now iwa-chan, no need to get grumpy

**_Iwaizumi Hajime_ ** _’s name has been changed to **grumpzilla**_

**kingkawa:** fitting nicknames for everyone!  
 **Watari Shinji:** hey guys, what’s going on?  
 **Watari Shinji:** hello, hinata-kun!  
 **Matsukawa Issei:** new gc ft karasuno chibis bc oikawas a nonbeliever   
**Hinata Shouyou:** HI WATARI-SAN!  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : what doesnt oikawa-san believe???  
 **kingkawa** : oh we will get there chibi-chan dont worry your precious little head about it  
 **Watari Shinji:** yacchan hasnt made an appearance yet?  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** !!!  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** shes here with me!! shes just shy lol  
 **Hinata Shouyou:** _shesayshitho.jpg  
_ **Watari Shinji:** aww you guys are as cute as ever  
 **Watari Shinji:** hi yacchan!  
 **kingkawa:** ahdjdhsjsjshCUTE  
 **grumpzilla:** Tell her we all say hello, Hinata  
 **grumpzilla:** And that there’s no need to be shy. These guys might be idiots, but they’re harmless idiots  
 **Hanamaki Takahiro:** so rude  
 **Matsukawa Issei:** and after all weve done for him makki   
**grumpzilla:** Literally what have you ever done for me?  
 **Hanamaki Takahiro:** lots!  
 **Matsukawa Issei:** we eat your leftovers for you  
 **grumpzilla:** You mean my entire lunch  
 **Hanamaki Takahiro:** we distract you when your early morning thoughts send you spiraling into an existential crisis  
 **grumpzilla:** That’s Oikawa  
 **grumpzilla:** You’re the reason I put my phone on DND when I go to sleep

**_[cntd]_ **

* * *

** -seijoh 5eva- **

_11/05/19  
15:11_

**commonsense:** kyoutani, i know you’re lurking in that chat  
 **commonsense:** aren’t you going to say hello?   
**yahabitchplease:** kyoutani-kun is currently incapacitated   
**yahabitchplease:** that photo took him tf out  
 **yahabitchplease:** _thatblushtho.jpg  
_ **commonsense:** oh good, i’m glad you’re with him yahaba  
 **thebettersetter:** shi-chan! make kyouken-chan interact pls i need to see what im working with   
**yahabitchplease:** ummm i was serious oikawa-san  
 **yahabitchplease:** kyoutani.exe is no longer working   
**spicy puppy:** THEYRE SO FUCKING CUTE WHAT THE FUCK  
 **spicy puppy:** WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS  
 **thebettersetter** : thats the attitude im after kyouken-chan! (☞^o^)☞  
 **thebettersetter** : it would be better if u showed it in the other chat tho  
 **spicy** **puppy** : I CANT  
 **spicy** **puppy** : DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE  
 **thebettersetter** : kyouken-chan...  
 **notafuckingturnip** : right? we told you  
 **notafuckingturnip** : hes a frickin mess  
 **thebettersetter** : i feel a sudden connection to you, my most feral kouhai<３  
 **spicy** **puppy** : who the fuck are you calling feral  
 **thebettersetter** : its okay tho! we promise not to leave you alone with chibi-chan and manager-chan   
**commonsense** : we’ve got your back kyoutani!  
 **spicy** **puppy** : i dont care!  
 **thebettersetter** : speaking of, have u actually talked to either of them since camp ended?   
**spicy** **puppy** : NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS  
 **yahabitchplease** : he has  
 **yahabitchplease** : i've seen some of their messages  
 **spicy** **puppy** : FUCK OFF YOU NOSY BASTARD  
 **notafuckingturnip** : hinata at least brings him up all the time  
 **notafuckingturnip** : even yachi sometimes asks about him  
 **SleepyBoi** : When she can work up the nerve  
 **yahabitchplease** : omg  
 **yahabitchplease** : kindaichi you've killed him  
 **thebettersetter** : noooooo kyouken-chan you cant go into the light!!!  
 **spicy** **puppy** : WHERE DO THEY TALK ABOUT ME  
 **SleepyBoi** : We're in a groupchat with all of Hinata's first year friends  
 **SleepyBoi** : Second years now I guess   
**notafuckingturnip** : its chaos in there  
 **spicy** **puppy** : WHAT DO THEY SAY  
 **thebettersetter** : you are quite relatable right now kyouken-chan TT_TT   
**commonsense** : ah yes, a throwback to oikawa’s pining years   
**commonsense** : so desperate to know every word that iwaizumi ever spoke about him  
 **thebettersetter** : WATARI  
 **thebettersetter** : AN ATTACK FROM AN UNEXPECTED DIRECTION  
 **spicy** **puppy** : LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO   
**thebettersetter** : KYOUKENCHAN!!  
 **thebettersetter** : o(｀ω´ )o  
 **thebettersetter** : im trying to help you land two of the cutest beings on this planet and this is how you repay me???  
 **notafuckingturnip** : speaking of  
 **SleepyBoi** : Hinata sent another pic

* * *

** -the TRUTH- **

_11/05/19  
15:36_

**Hinata** **Shouyou** : _cryinglaughing.jpg  
_ **Hanamaki** **Takahiro** : nice to know you chibis enjoy seeing us get roasted  
 **Matsukawa** **Issei** : nice to know what iwaizumi really thinks of us too huh makki   
**Hanamaki** **Takahiro** : i think we need new friends babe  
 **Matsukawa** **Issei** : ones who appreciate us and all we do for them  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : oh!! well be your friends!!!  
 **Hanamaki** **Takahiro** : sold!   
**Matsukawa** **Issei** : to the chibi with the orange hair  
 **kingkawa** : uwahhh makki-chan, matsu-chan, your friendship is so cheap  
 **kingkawa** : chibi-chan i didnt bring you here to steal my friends from me!  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : ahdhfhdjsjgdhdkdjd  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : why did you add us then oikawa-san???

* * *

** -seijoh 5eva- **

_11/05/19  
15:42_

**spicy** **puppy** : DONT YOU DARE SAY ANYTHING

* * *

** -the TRUTH- **

_11/05/19  
15:43_

**grumpzilla** : Because he’s a nosy bastard, Hinata  
 **kingkawa** : excuse me iwa-chan, youre just as curious as i am -`д´-  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : curious about WHAAAAAAATTTTTTTT (＞人＜) (＞人＜) (＞人＜)  
 **Kyoutani** **Kentarou** : IM SERIOUS OIKAWA YOU BETTER NOT  
 **Kyoutani** **Kentarou** : WAIT   
**Kyoutani** **Kentarou** : SHIT  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : !!!  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : HI KYOUTANI  
 **Hinata** **Shouyou** : _yacchansayshitoo.jpg_

* * *

** -seijoh 5eva- **

_11/05/19  
15:50_

**thebettersetter** : HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
 **thebettersetter** : you have to interact now kyouken-chan (＾艸＾)  
 **yahabitchplease** : the power of cute compels you, kyoutani  
 **spicy** **puppy** : im going to kill all of you

* * *

** -the TRUTH- **

_11/05/19  
15:53_

**Kyoutani** **Kentarou** : hi guys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still no idea what platform they're using lmao


	3. Chapter 3

** -the TRUTH- **

_15/05/19  
_ _06:27_

 **blep:** Hinata get off your phone  
 **kawaiichi:** how many times do we have to tell you dude  
 **MiniBlocker** : UWAH   
**MiniBlocker** : WHYD YOU CALL ME OUT IN HERE  
 **blep** : I said get off your phone you idiot why are you answering   
**Hitokawaii** : Oh, good idea Kunimi-kun, Kindaichi-kun!!  
 **Hitokawaii** : Shouyou! Please be more considerate of your own safety!  
 **kawaiichi** : see what youve done hinata?  
 **kawaiichi** : upsetting mama yachi every damn day smh  
 **MiniBlocker** : NOOOOOO YACCHAN DONT BE MAD AT ME IM SORRYYYYY I PROMISE ILL STOP  
 **blep** : .....  
 **Hitokawaii** : Stop! Replying! Shouyou!   
**grumpzilla** : Guys?  
 **WataMama** : guys?  
 **WataMama** : haha morning iwaizumi-san  
 **matsumaki** : whoooooo is spamming the chat this early in the morning  
 **hanakawa** : yeah who??   
**hanakawa** : and why are we yelling at the chibi??  
 **grumpzilla** : Don’t act like you two aren’t in here every day you have morning classes, forcing your misery on the rest of us  
 **hanakawa** : wtf   
**hanakawa** : mattsun whatd we do why does iwaizumi hate us now  
 **matsumaki** : idk but this is exactly why we replaced him with the bby crows  
 **blep** : Senpai please we are trying to stage an intervention  
 **matsumaki** : another one??  
 **blep** : Yes  
 **blep** : Nothing to do with the first one  
 **MiniBlocker** : NOOOOO GUYSSSSS  
 **kawaiichi** : HINATA  
 **Hitokawaii** : SHOUYOU  
 **MiniBlocker** : IM SORRY IM GOING  
 **Hitokawaii** : We’re going to talk about this Shouyou!!! o(｀ω´ )o  
 **WataMama** : yacchan? why does hinata need an intervention?  
 **Hitokawaii** : Shouyou lives over an hour away from Karasuno, Watari-san, and he rides his bike over a mountain to get there  
 **blep** : But he insists on answering every message he gets  
 **kawaiichi** : while hes still on the damn bike  
 **blep** : He says he gets fomo when he can hear the chat going off  
 **Hitokawaii** : It’s so dangerous! He had so many minor crashes last year but even Sawamura-san couldn’t scare him into stopping  
 **kawaiichi** : kozume either  
 **grumpzilla** : Kozume?  
 **softest angry boi** : hinatas boyfriend

* * *

** -seijoh 5eva- **

_15/05/19  
_ _06:43_

 **thebettersetter** : WGAT  
 **thebettersetter** : I JYDT WIOKE UP DIOD I RWAD RTHAT RUIHJT  
 **thebettersetter** : KYOUKENCHANANSWERME  
 **spicy** **puppy** : what  
 **thebettersetter** : ahdhdkahdgfkslak DONT WHAT ME  
 **thebettersetter** : WHAT DO YOU MEAN HINATAS BOYFRIEND  
 **thebettersetter** : WHY AM I TRYING TO SET YOU UP WITH SOMEBODY ALREADY IN A RELATIONSHIP  
 **spicy** **puppy** : FOR THE THOUSANDTH FUCKING TIME  
 **spicy** **puppy** : I DIDNT ASK YOU TO  
 **thebettersetter** : SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON  
 **SleepyBoi** : Kozume Kenma  
 **SleepyBoi** : Hes a third year vb player, also a setter, and he lives in Tokyo  
 **thebettersetter** : and hes chibi-chans boyfriend   
**SleepyBoi** : Yes  
 **thebettersetter** : dont say yes like its obvious kunimi-chan!!!  
 **thebettersetter** : why did nobody tell me about this???  
 **notafuckingturnip** : we forgot  
 **spicy** **puppy** : none of your business   
**thebettersetter** : (╯‵□′)╯︵┴─┴  
 **thebettersetter** : we are going to talk about this later!!!

* * *

** -the TRUTH- **

_15/05/19  
_ _06:50_

 **kingkawa** : chibi-chan you need to look after yourself!   
**MiniBlocker** : AAAHHHHH I AAAMMMMM I PROMISE IVE ONLY CRASHED A FEW TIMES  
 **grumpzilla** : Hinata, don’t say you’re leaving and then come right back  
 **YahaPapa** : also dont say only like that makes it any better   
**MiniBlocker:** im at a stoplight!!!   
**blep:** If his spelling is readable hes stopped  
 **grumpzilla:** It’s been readable this whole time? What’s so bad about him replying at stoplights?  
 **kawaiichi:** coz he doesnt always wait till he gets to the lights  
 **kawaiichi:** he stops in the middle of the frickin road  
 **MiniBlocker:** KINDAICHI I DOOOOOOONT   
**Hitokawaii:** No, you stop on the side of the road, which isn’t much better, Shouyou!  
 **Hitokawaii:** You could still get hit there!  
 **grumpzilla:** It is dangerous, Hinata. You’re old enough to know better  
 **hanakawa:** oof   
**YahaPapa:** ouch  
 **kingkawa:** hehe chibi-chan got daddy iwa-chan to come out  
 **grumpzilla:** If you value your life, do not ever call me that again, Shittykawa

 **_grumpzilla_ ** _’s name has been changed to **daddy-chan**_

 **kingkawa:** oh no  
 **kingkawa:** IT WASNT ME IWACHAN I SWEAR  
 **kingkawa:** but also like  
 **kingkawa:** oh Y E S   
**daddy-chan:** Prepare to die  
 **daddy-chan:** All of you  
 **Hitokawaii:** Eh? Ehhhhhhh? I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE IWAIZUMI-SAN, PLEASE SPARE ME   
**Hitokawaii:** MY MOTHER WILL BE ALL ALONE   
**Hitokawaii:** I HAVEN’T EVEN WRITTEN A WILL YET IWAIZUMI-SAN I’M NOT READY  
 **softest angry boi:** he isnt talking about you two yachi   
**softest angry boi:** you dont need a will  
 **Hitokawaii:** Oh. That’s good  
 **Hitokawaii:** Maybe I should still write a will, just in case?   
**Hitokawaii:** Thank you though, Kyoutani-kun! o(^-^)o

_**[cntd]** _

* * *

**-** **seijoh 5eva-**

_15/05/19  
_ _06:56_

 **spicy puppy:** what the FUCK why is she so fucking CUTE  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** you know kyoutani i think this is the first time youve ever messaged this chat on your own  
 **thebettersetter:** uwu kyoukenchan so cuuuuuute   
**spicy puppy:** shut up  
 **spicy puppy:** im going to die  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** mattsun was right how dare you deprive us of seeing this side of you in person  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** i demand recompense   
**yahabitchplease:** trust me, you don't wanna see it  
 **yahabitchplease:** he's an embarrassing mess  
 **spicy puppy:** stfu yahaba youre the one who embarrassed himself in front of yachi last year  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** HAHAHAHA WHO TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT  
 **spicy puppy:** tanaka and nishinoya  
 **yahabitchplease:** i fuckin hate those two  
 **commonsense:** no you dont, you think theyre funny  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** watari with the fax  
 **thebettersetter:** BACK TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND  
 **thebettersetter:** kyouken-chan you are very cute but you still dont interact enough!!   
**spicy puppy:** why are you so invested   
**spicy puppy:** are you actually trying to kill me  
 **thebettersetter:** im TRYING to H E L P   
**commonsense:** honestly kyoutani, its been a week and youve hardly spoken to them at all  
 **yahabitchplease:** and i know you're still messaging them separately so why can't you do it in the gc   
**spicy puppy:** coz its fucking weird you fucking voyeurs   
**icanbeyourhiro:** voyeurs???  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** kyoutani, my sweet bean, there isnt anything to fucking voy   
**yahabitchplease:** HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA  
 **matsukatsudon:** lmaooooooo BABE  
 **matsukatsudon:** the SOUND i just made  
 **icanbeyourhiro:** ik i heard you hahaha  
 **spicy puppy:** i cant deal with you people

* * *

** -the TRUTH- **

_15/05/19  
_ _07:11_

 **MiniBlocker:** HAH IM EARLY NOW CAN I CHAT  
 **blep:** no race with kageyama this morning?  
 **MiniBlocker:** nope! hes not here yet so that means i win ヾ(^ ^ゞ  
 **kawaiichi:** did you seriously peddle that fast just so you could talk to us  
 **MiniBlocker:** YOU CANT LEAVE ME OUT KINDAICHIIIIIIIIIII  
 **kingkawa:** as flattering as that is chibi-chan, we were all serious before 〴⋋_⋌〵  
 **kingkawa:** please be more careful about your safety!  
 **softest angry boi:** i have never agreed with that guy before in my life hinata  
 **softest angry boi:** look what youve done  
 **MiniBlocker:** KYOUTANIIIIII NOOOOO NOT YOU TOOOOOOO (TT) (TT) (TT)  
 **softest angry boi:** I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE YOU LITTLE IDIOT  
 **Hitokawaii:** Kyoutani-kun.... (T人T)   
**MiniBlocker:** UWAH KYOUTANI DONT BE MAD ILL STOP I PROMISE  
 **softest angry boi:** you said the exact same thing to yachi before  
 **Hitokawaii:** Mm-hm. Shouyou’s a l i a r  
 **MiniBlocker:** nooooooo honestly ill be safe please both of you please don’t be mad at me  
 **MiniBlocker:** _pleasepleaseplease.jpg_

* * *

** -seijoh5eva- **

_15/05/19  
_ _07:15_

 **spicy puppy:** THOSE PUPPY EYES SHOULD BE ILLEGAL BITCH TF  
 **thebettersetter:** this is the best day of my life 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yachi and Kindaichi have matching names bc they're besties fo lyfe. Kyoutani definitely isn't jealous, no way no how.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know why this chapter was so delayed? It's because I'm writing it on my iPad, as opposed to my laptop, and I've been using my iPad to watch One Piece 🙃 The only reason I couldn't write this chapter is because I don't like writing chat-fic in word docs, and I couldn't make myself take a break from OP for literally a single hour. But better late than never, right??? (I'm so sorry).

**-the TRUTH-**

_17/05/19  
20:22_

**MiniBlocker:** _chipmunkkyoutani.jpg  
_**Hitokawaii:** _shouyouandkyoutanikun.jpg  
_**MiniBlocker:** _blondsquad.jpg  
_**Hitokawaii:** _wemadehimtakeaselfie.jpg  
_**softest angry boi:** WHAT THE HELL  
**softest angry boi:** WHAT ARE THESE  
**kingkawa:** omg  
**kingkawa:** o m g  
**MiniBlocker:** cute right!!  
**Hitokawaii:** Sorry, Kyoutani-kun! σ(^_^;)  
**Hitokawaii:** Shouyou insisted  
**kingkawa:** GUUUUUUUYYYYYYS GET IN HERE RN  
**kingkawa:** hellooooooooooo  
**softest angry boi:** DONT  
**hanakawa:** what is it???  
**kingkawa:** SCROLL UP  
**MiniBlocker:** WAIT THIS ONE IS MY FAVOURITE  
**MiniBlocker:** _kyoutanisenpai.jpg  
_**softest angry boi:** HINATA WHY  
**Hitokawaii:** (๑>◡<๑) (๑>◡<๑) (๑>◡<๑)  
**Hitokawaii:** That’s my favourite too!! Sorry, Kyoutani-kun, but I’m making it my lockscreen (⊃‿⊂)  
**kingkawa:** is  
**kingkawa:** is that kyouken-chan teaching yacchan how to serve????  
**MiniBlocker:** yes! its from the same day as the other ones ^^^  
**hanakawa:** that is the cutest shit ive ever seen in my life  
**hanakawa:** gimme more  
**softest angry boi:** NO  
**kingkawa:** kyouken-chan you cant deprive us of this!  
**kingkawa:** chibi-chan you are doing gods work （^人^）  
**WataMama:** ooohhhh!!! so cute!!  
**MiniBlocker:** right!!!  
**softest angry boi:** WHO ARE YOU CALLING CUTE  
**MiniBlocker:** YOU

* * *

**-seijoh 5eva-**

_17/05/19  
20:56_

**spicy puppy:** SKDHRHDLSJDHDJSL WHAT THE FUCK  
**matsukatsudon:** i really enjoy this side of you kyoutani  
**matsukatsudon:** also those pics are cute af  
**icanbeyourhiro:** dude hinata called you cute  
**matsukatsudon:** ohhhh yachi made you her lockscreen??  
**spicy puppy:** ffffffffffffffff  
**GodzillasHumansona:** Kyoutani, are you okay?  
**GodzillasHumansona:** @yahabitchplease do we have eyes on Kyoutani?  
**yahabitchplease:** i’m halfway there iwaizumi-senpai

* * *

**-the TRUTH-**

_17/05/19  
21:03_

**matsumaki:** this gc is the best thing oikawas ever done  
**hanakawa:** seconded!  
**WataMama:** what brought all this on, hinata?  
**MiniBlocker:** oikawa-san said he made this gc coz he didnt believe that kyoutani could be nice right  
**MiniBlocker:** ^^^ proof!!  
**Kawaiichi:** oh damn those are really cute  
**Kawaiichi:** theyre from the second night of camp right?  
**MiniBlocker:** yup!  
**matsumaki** : really? only the second night and you two already had kyoutani wrapped around your little fingers  
**hanakawa** : nice (b^_^)b  
**MiniBlocker** : hahaha idk about that!! but it was pretty easy to get along with him once he dropped his scary face!!  
**kingkawa** : easy to get along with???  
**kingkawa** : kyouken-chan???  
**Hitokawaii** : We think so!  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : lskdhdhshajahgj  
**Hitokawaii** : I guess even Kyoutani-kun has a shy side!（⌒▽⌒）  
**Kawaiichi** : only around you two  
**blep** : Yeah he doesnt give a shit about us  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : STOP TALKING LIKE IM NOT HERE YOU FUCKERS  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : AND BY FUCKERS I MEAN KINDAICHI AND KUNIMI  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : NOT YOU YACHI  
**MiniBlocker** : ehhhhhh what about me???  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : ........  
**MiniBlocker** : KYOUTANI NOOOOO IM SORRY ILL SEND SOME SUPER MACHO MANLY PICS  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : NO  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : NO MORE  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : YOURE FORGIVEN

* * *

**-seijoh 5eva-**

_17/05/19  
21:23_

**yahabitchplease** : _imadeit.jpg  
_**GodzillasHumansona** : Jeez, Kyoutani, you could fry an egg on your face  
**yahabitchplease** : he’s currently incapable of saying words iwaizumi-senpai, please hold  
**icanbeyourhiro** : oi kyoutani whatd hinata mean about macho manly pics  
**matsukatsudon** : yeah have you been sending the little chibi shirtless selfies or something  
**yahabitchplease** : he’s screaming very emphatic ‘no’s  
**matsukatsudon** : you mean hes swearing at me  
**yahabitchplease** : that too  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Hey, Kyoutani, I know you like them both and the others have said they both like you too, but do they like each other? Hinata already has a boyfriend as well, apparently, and I’m a bit confused  
**thebettersetter** : YES PLEASE CLEAR THIS UP ALREADY I NEED ALL THE FACTS  
**spicy** **puppy** : you dont need shit you interfering bastard  
**thebettersetter** : RUDE  
**notafuckingturnip** : oh shit sorry oikawa-san i guess we never explained  
**thebettersetter** : NO! YOU DIDNT!  
**thebettersetter** : as my assistant this is a severe failure on your part kindaichi-kun  
**notafuckingturnip** : i never asked to be ur assistant  
**SleepyBoi** : Its not that confusing  
**SleepyBoi** : Kozume and Hinata got together after nationals last year, and he has another boyfriend whos older than both of them  
**SleepyBoi** : By ‘he’ I mean Kozume  
**thebettersetter** : oh? so chibi-chan is already part of a polyamorous relationship?  
**notafuckingturnip** : yeah. he’s friends with kozumes other boyfriend too  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Is there anybody that kid isn’t friends with though?  
**spicy** **puppy** : no  
**notafuckingturnip** : no  
**SleepyBoi** : no  
**thebettersetter** : that makes things so much easier (T . T)  
**icanbeyourhiro** : excuuuuuuuuse me but can somebody answer bara-chans other question plsssss  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Don’t call me that  
**icanbeyourhiro** : sorry bara-chan  
**GodzillasHumansona** : I’m gonna kill you  
**matsukatsudon** : please dont i need him  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Sorry, Matsukawa. I’ll buy you a new dildo to make up for it  
**matsukatsudon** : deal  
**icanbeyourhiro** : BETRAYAL  
**icanbeyourhiro** : mattsun how could you  
**icanbeyourhiro** : im worth much more than one dildo, at least make him buy you ten  
**matsukatsudon** : u right  
**matsukatsudon** : thank you for looking for me from beyond the grave babe  
**thebettersetter** : now that thats sorted  
**thebettersetter** : PLEASE STOP DERAILING THIS DISCUSSION  
**spicy** **puppy** : i dont mind  
**icanbeyourhiro** : yeah hanger boy he doesnt mind  
**thebettersetter** : THAT WAS SO LONG AGO LET IT GO  
**matsukatsudon** : never, elsa  
**yahabitchplease** : excuse me  
**thebettersetter** : yes shi-chan BACK TO THE TOPIC AT HAND  
**yahabitchplease** : to answer iwaizumi-senpai’s question - yeah, we all think hinata and yachi like each other. we just can’t decide if they’re already dating or not  
**GodzillasHumansona** : Kyoutani doesn’t know?  
**yahabitchplease** : he doesn’t want to ask  
**thebettersetter** : kyouken-chan... my sweet baby kouhai...  
**spicy** **puppy** : idk who ur talking to but it sure as shit aint me

* * *

**-the TRUTH-**

_17/05/19  
_ _21:42_

**MiniBlocker** : sorry guys i gotta go to sleep now!  
**MiniBlocker** : ill ask the guys for all their pics from camp tomorrow! good night!  
**Hitokawaii** : I guess I should be going now too ^_^ good night everybody!  
**WataMama** : so responsible(: goodnight you two  
**Kawaiichi** : oh damn good idea hinata i think some of our firsties got some good ones as well  
**Kawaiichi** : ill send them through tomorrow too  
**softest** **angry** **boi** : ffs  
**blep** : Kyoutani youre not allowed to scare the first years  
**softest angry boi:** fuck you kunimi  
**softest angry boi:** i wasnt going to  
**Kawaiichi** : besides i know for a fact that you got a bunch of pics of your own  
**Kawaiichi** : just return the favour my dude  
**softest angry boi:** ....you have a point  
**kingkawa** : thats the spirit kyouken-chan!  
**matsumaki** : we look forward to it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also - manga readers, how we feeling??? I won't spoil, but GOD I CRIED SO HARD. The final chapter was honestly beautiful; it was perfect, I don't think I could have asked for anything better. Furudate is a GOD, lining everything up the way they did. I'm so proud of everybody, my heart was just about exploding with happiness.


End file.
